August so far, Mary my friend and new teammate and diet

So, my August so far....well, my July somewhat too, was def. a food holiday.....hhhmmmm....June i guess too...! Now, back to focusing on diet....my training has been fantastic. I am using a new supplement calling EVP ( by Evogen), and Cell K.E.M which Jeni has put me on. The one is a pre pump and def. made already an impact on the amount of weights I lift. The cell cem is an after wkt drink and repairs and recovers my muscles. I was super excited when my shipment had "finally" arrived from the US. I am one of these people, what smells good, sells it to me...and I swear the post wkt drink smelled fantastic, the taste "suppose" to be fruit punch...GREAT....love the taste of fruit punch...well, me excited as I was, mixing it into my water straight after my leg training.......and..."WHO THE HELL" printed the fruit punch taste sign on it???? OMG....it shoot straight tears into my eyes....BUCKLEY'S cough syrup is absolutely delicious compare to this...but what do they always say? TASTE AWEFUL but works....hahaha....
My diet so far....oh well....sunday-friday 95% clean....not sure how many times I drove to Bulk Barn to buy some new all natural peanut butter, cause I throw it out every other day and tell myself- thats it-...no more PB.....and than 48hrs later back at the store getting another jug full of it just to toss it into the garbage again.....i actually have been that desperate that I went back, searching threw my garbage after throwing it, cause my cravings were that bad....LORD....that calls for help.....BIG time...and very very QUICK! ( you might NOT believe me...but I didn't take it back out...but thats only cause there was a bunch of smeary banana peel on it...THANK GOD...grouse)
I had a few night of too many gin and tonics as well as wine.....but I find it super hard to stay clean 100% during the summer! winter and x-mas time is the easiest for me to stay on track....! The idea of sitting on my deck with a bottle of chilled white wine is so tempting every single day, especially with the great summer night we have this July-August.
I cut my fruits already out of my diet. Of course with Jeni's ok. The only time I have some fruit is right after my WKT in my post shake....(usually banana, but I try to stay with a low GI fruit like blueberries). Since I learned the language my body speaks to me and the way my body responds to certain foods, I know, my sugar cravings with 2-3 servings of fruit are high.....i can't think of anything else BUT sweets in every form....my new treat-addiction is air popped popcorn sprinkled with Splenda....(ya, i know...YIKES...but there is the sugar addict in me turning desperate)
So, no more fruit.....also do I decided to cut my cheat meals out for the next 2 month. For some reason I tend to eat mostly carbs on my cheat saturday and comes night time I am absolutely starving.....on top of feeling sicker than a dog......so CUT....for a while...same with alcohol....."starting tomorrow" ( haha...I know lots of us use the term -starting tomorrow- but for me it IS tomorrow)
My new traingspartner and teammate Mary is doing great. She's such a fantastic gal to train with......strong, dedicated and my very good friend. SHe will compete for the first time 2012 in the Alberta Provincials in Fitness ( well, that's what she works for...she might switch to figure) either or, she will do great! I am so proud of her. Never did I expect her to come over for a glass of wine and telling me, just like nothing, that she decided on her way over to my house in the car , wanting to compete...WOW...YEHAW....and WOW again! AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Her and I train everyday together and def. incourage each other....she is a great "spotter" to me as well!
Anyways....this is it so far....i will update soon to let you guys know how my "no more cheat day" life goes.....as well as my NO MORE PB.....hahahaha!!!!!!!!!
Have a great week everybody!!!!
Di.

Nationals 2012, different league

WOW WOW WOW!!!!! I am simply blown away. I was sitting on my couch browsing through pics of the canadian national bodybuilding competition past weekend and came across the girls I will compete against. I am absolutely speechless and almost feared by looking at them and knowing I will compete next in year in that league....HOLY COW! The extreme and uncontrolled cravings for peanut butter, gummy bears, bread and wine have "all the sudden" totally disappeared. I am thrilled to have the opportunity to compete at National level in 2012 and I am so pumped and motivated (right now, more than ever) that I will give more than 100% of my focus, dedication and discipline towards it!!!!! I gave my 100% best last season BUT there is ALWAYS more within yourself and I will give more than I have to achieve the best results I have within me! I am so determined to get on that stage and rock it!!!! The first thing I am going to do is, work on my holds and def add new once, more gymnastic classes to follow, more chicken without crying and complaining about it, more mass ( def more mass). While I mention putting on muscle mass, I was just talking to one of my friends, who decided to compete for the first time next year in fitness as well and we both are the complete opposite body shape. Mary is totally going to be BUFF and bulky with the perfect delts, back and chest (easy to build). While I am the lean, shredded, more petite kind a girl...so hopefully my coach and friend Jeni Briscoe can turn me into a SUPER WOMAN Machine! (lol)....I have no doubts in my mind that she will!
To build muscle mass, as I had mentioned in my previous blog, I def. have to up do my protein intake as well as putting on weight.....ya...the weight ....hhmmmm.....always a subject which girls "usually" dislike talking about....but I know it is necessary to build enough, so I won't be losing it again (as in my past season) when lean down-carb cycling phase starts! So, here I am .... growing feathers again and loading up on oats, brown rice and sweet potatoes! I also needed a few new supplements which I can't get in Canada and had to order those through bodybuilding.com online. WOW....talking about spending a fortune ....could have made a good downpayment for a BMW when i got to the end of my HUGE order!
I am so in love with what I am doing....almost obsessed, addicted and can't go a single day without thinking or talking "competition" and working out.....to go on that stage and showing off all the hard work and dedication you put into your body and getting the recognition for all of it is PRICELESS!!!!!! NOTHING in the world can give me that kind of sensation and confidence. Someone in the gym asked me the other day, how I do it? DOING WHAT???...-was my responds. And he said, well, you're at the Y pretty much all day and night, have a family and you are still bubbly, always smiling and as soon as you speak about your sport and about competition, your eyes light up ....well, all I could reply was, that I found exactly that part in my life which completes me.....I can't repeat it often enough, I LOVE what I am doing and I love how my body responds to all my hard work....and there's nothing greater than loving the body you live in....the connection between mind and body gives me more happiness and self esteem than I ever thought I could have!!!!!! I always try to motivate people to go ahead and make their dreams come true....if you like fitness or bodybuilding...DO IT!!! YOU CAN DO IT!!!! There are no excuses like, I don't have enough time to workout ( so? make time), or I don't have the right genetics ( there is no such thing)....go and do it!!!! You have nothing to lose, you will only gain on strength, courage, self discipline, confidence, HEALTH and positive attitude!!!!!!!
Have a great week everybody and stay fit!

What's next?

Since I finished my season with winning the Alberta Provincials in Fitness 2011 and ended my season with a great trip home to Germany, I am back on the training field. I try to eat as clean as possible and train with a complete new workout program. My goal for next season is to finish first 3 at Nationals. At this point I am trying to gain more muscles which unfortunately is involved with gaining weight ( bulking). I was quite excited when my trainer Jeni told me I need to gain about 10-15 lb....gaining by eating bread and gummie bears? NOPE, that was not her idea of gaining to add more muscle....as I expected we go for more chicken, egg whites and more supplements are needed as well. After coming back from Germany, and lets face it, I drank the entire time I was there, ate enough gummy bears and chocolate for my next 20 cheat saturdays and enjoyed fresh bread and cake like I will never eat it again...it was sickening! I am one of these people who can't do moderation with anything. It is either FULL term or NOTHING. So thats what I did.......emptied every bag of gummy's I opened....SICK! I worked and dieted my A** off to look shredded and lean and it took me months, months of pain and mood swings.......and what did I do? Ate like I a 300lb man! WOW....oh well, I am back in the routine of things and looking forward to my next season. The only person who has an issue with my passion for fitness competition is my husband. I don't and can't really blame him. He's supportive in his own way. For this season, besides adding more mass and tightening my butt more, I def need to have a faster routine and need to work on even more flexibility. 

I am motivated as ever if not even more and can't wait to rock the stage at Nationals next year!!!!

My off season diet looks pretty much as last time....7 meals on training days and 6 on cardio days. I weight train 2 days on one day off ( which is my Cardio day), back on monday, legs on tuesday ( gosh...hate tuesdays) wednesday Cardio for  about 30-35min( which I always do longer),  shoulders and tri's on thursday, chest and bi's on friday and saturdays cardio again and this is also my cheat day of eating...sunday's  DAY OFF...HOORAY!

My Life after the shows

Here I am, in Germany on my yearly 3 week vacation. Almost 3 weeks after my last show in Edmonton and almost 10lb heavier. My last show on June 4th in Edmonton ( the Northern Alberta Bodybuilding Championship) went absolutely FANTASTIC! I did first overall...yeha! Still can´t believe I finished first. WOW...what a reward for all my hard work in over 6 months. The most bizarre thing about it....I never ever eeeeever expected to win this ahow. After placing 4th in Kelowna 2 weeks before, I have to admit I was down and had almost lost my courage and motivation, I had a hard time getting up everyday at 4:30am to practice my routine and my cardio was def. a pain in the A**....! BUT...I did it! Already knowing in Kelowna, that my 2 piece fancy suit was a bit too baggy on my butt, my trainer Jeni offered me her very own almost $1000 suit to wear for my Alberta show...what an honour!!!!! She had woren the suit and placed 1st years ago....and it def. was a winning suit!!!! I got more than enough compliments on that suit from the girls behind stage! Glamerous!!!! I can´t even find the words to thank her enough for it.Also, was my white routine costume ruined....totally stained from the first show with the  Jantana lotion...ouch...bad decision to wear white...never again. So, my good friend and teamate Deb gave me one of her last years one...and again.. a  winning costume! I am not really sure why I felt so calm at my second show, maybe it was the experience from the first one or maybe cause I knew I was flying back home to Germany the next day after the show....probably both factors came together.
Brandy, my best friend, travelled up to edmonton with both of her kids and stayed at her friends house. Ken, Ava and I arrived friday night just before the weigh ins! OMG, let me tell you, a food, water loaded and complete bitchy pre contest ME and my extreme hyper daughter and bad traveller, non reading map husband, for over 6 hours in the SAME CAR....what the hell was I thinking when I asked him to come along with me....woha....it was a disaster. First of all did I have to pee about every 20 minutes and for the once who have ever travelled to Edmonton, know...good luck with finding bathrooms on that road. So we stopped more than an estimated 25 times...BUT the first stop...( my mistake I have to admit)...Tim Hortons...Ken:- hmmmm.....I could use a sandwich and a nice coffee...Ava:- I WANT TIM BITS ( mini doughnuts)....Me:- gggrrrrrrr.....zipp it the two of you...all i wanted was a flippin´plain old unsalted rice cake...but no, I had a cooler full of chicken and beans ( cold)....
None of the both of them even showed a bit of sympathy for me and yanked down the doughnuts, bagels and sandwiches...right beside me in the car....I DO NOT lie when I tell you guys, I was thhhiiiiiiis close to get out of the car and ask an old, fat, smokin and spitz eating truck driver to give me a ride......aaarrrrggggghhhhh!!!!!
But we made it. I went for the weigh ins ( which always take hours and hours) and after getting back into my room, I realized, I had no microwave in my room...great...and how the heck was I supposed to heat up my at home pre cooked steak I had to eat that night? Well, thinking in a 4 star hotel, with a great restaurant on the first floor, I am sure they heat it up for me......well, Diana.....guess that´s what I only thought. They told me they could not do it cause of food safty reason....so, back into my room ( more than pissed off with the world), took my half frozen steak out of the fridge and gobbled it down with asparagus....COLD..and on top of it, was I water depleting since 6pm, so meaning, I had nothing to swollow it down with....wow...next time I know better!
At 5:30 am the morning of the show I got up and went downstairs to order my pancakes ( which Jeni wanted me to eat).....kitchen was closed until 7am....SERIOUSLY??????? I was starving marbles and ready to cry. So I waited downstairs in the lobby, while stretching and jogging on the spot, for the kitchen to open up! In the meantime Brandy came to the hotel to get me all ready for stage ( hair, make up and the whole forks).....She is a true GEM.....I love her so much...I really do....I thank god every single day, for having her in my life. I can´t even find the right words to describe how much I appreciate her in every single way. She is the MOST beautiful woman besides my mom in my life. Her heart is bigger than I have ever met anybody and she is worth more than a million in my life! Never ever could I made it this far without her in my life. Brandy, if you read this right now...I LOVE YOU...I really truelly love you, so much! You are a wonderful person and I won this whole thing for you!!!!!! Seeing and hearing her in the audience ment everything to me. She was like the biggest fan I ever had in this journey! Thank you Missy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What did I eat after the show, most people asked me that question......Peanut butter, on a whole wheat loaf of soft doughy bread and a banana. mmmhhh.....it tasted sooo good. After the show was over we went into a pub and ate nachos with cheese and shared some poutine! Damn good cheesy and gravy poutine! And the guiness beer made it perfect!
 The morning after the show we drove 3 hours to Calgary to the airport and off I was to Germany, where I still enjoy my last week of free food vacation! I had told myself I was not going to eat like a crazy person who had never eatn in month...BUT....I did and still DO! Gained a few pounds already back on my hips...but who cares. In exactly one week from today I will start my new workout routine and food off season diet. Since I have won first overall, I can compete from now on for a lifetime in the Nationals. And thats my goal. I wanna compete in the next years nationals but I already know from my coach Jeni, that I have to add more muscle mass....so...gaining a few pounds is a must!!!!! ( hahaha...give me more chocolate...lol)!!!!!
I am excited for the next season.....it took me over 30 years to find my true passion.....and I have finally found it ---competing in fitness!!!!! I can´t describe the feeling and the reward you get when you are on that stage and won a championship...wow...all the hard work had finally paid off!!!!! I can honestly say, I have never been this proud of myself! Now to all of you guys out there, following my journey every single day...THANK YOU....!!! You guys are great and the motivation and courage you gave me to follow through with this means the world to me!
To my coach and friend Jeni Briscoe, I could have not done it without your help....you earn the win...you are the best coach I could have asked for. I am so looking forward to work with you again for the next season!!!!!!!
And to Debbie, my friend and teamate....you kept me going, you were always there for me, every time I was down, thinking I could NOT do a single hold or not leaning down, you gave me the strength I needed to continue. And I love you for not seeing me as your own competiton! Thank you for being such a good friend, I will miss you lots when you´re moving away from the "Hat". We had such fun times, our monday night gymnastic classes, our posing and of course our 6am cardio´s together....I hope we will see each other and compete together at the Nationals!!!! Luv ya!
Diana

Western Canadians 2011- Kelowna

Thursday, May 19th, 2001- 4am wake up call, up and off to do my last cardio workout and routine practice. Quick breakfast, packing my cooler for the weekend with about 30 chicken breasts, a bag of beans, a package of oatmeal, water and my oils and vitamins. 7am, ready to pick up Brandy, with a hot fresh cup of coffee in a to go mug and off to the airport. 3 hours of driving a head of us and in my tummy about 2.5 litres of water already.....long drive lots ad lots of pee breaks. I started 3 days ago to water load, which is anywhere between 8-10 litre of water in a day.

7:10pm, finally arrived in Kelowna, after a long delay and being stranded in Vancouver at the airport for hours. Thank god I kept my cooler with food on me as a carry-on or I would have had some serious problems. In Kelowna, finally at the hotel room...time to get my first coat of Jan Tana tanning lotion on....wow....me and my friend Brandy def. have entered a new level into our friendship....the poor girl had to put that nasty lotion all over my body and when I say ALL OVER I mean ALL OVER....there is NO place left on me which she hasn't seen....!!!! We laughed so much during applying the tan that we forgot how it actually must have looked for others seeing us. 

Friday, May 20th, 2011- slept in, today was no cardio or any training, simply relaxing and a little bit of posing. Went to the mall and shopped a bit. Back in the hotel, 2nd coat of tan lotion and into some huge baggy pants, oversized t-shirt and off to the weigh ins. This process took forever since there were about 150 competitors...it was so warm in that room that I thought I would melt and my lotion was sticky and all over my cloths. After weigh ins were finally accomplished, I had my Steak supper ahead of me. Went to a great restaurant with Jeni ( my trainer), Debbie ( friend and teammate) and of course Brandy. At 6 pm tonight was my last intake of water or any kind of liquid until the competition was all over. I won't ever forget the facial expression of the server when she asked me what I like to eat and I told her: a 7 oz steak, no spices on it, and loooots of asparagus, simply steamed-no salt, no butter no anything. Ok the server said...and what would you like to drink?....ME- nothing....she asked again....: water miss? No NOTHING, I answered......uuuurrrgggghhhh......I wish I could have ordered a simple glass of water....but depletion here I start! 

Saturday May 21st, 2011- Competition Day-

5:45am wake up call. Into my oversized pants and shirt again, eating my 3 oz chicken and 1/2cup oats for breakfast-NO COFFEE or water. urgh...I missed that coffee so much. Brandy started doing my hair and make up and the time just flew by. Next thing I knew we were at the theatre and I was backstage in the dressing room, crowded and lost between 45 other girls in bikinis and tons of make up. I couldn't believe I was finally here. The day came faster than I had expected. I pretty much followed Debbie around like a puppy his mommy. I had NO clue where to go or where to start. Bodybuilders were first on the list. And there were more than 30 bodybuilders. So we had quite some time to get into our 2 piece suit for the posing routine. Glued our bikini bottoms on to our bum and "boobs" and slipped the heels on. About 30 min before you get to walk on stage you go behind stage to pump up ( which means you are trying to fight for some room and light dumbbells and lift so the muscles are going to look nice and full).

My competitor number- #79. I came on stage 2, right behind the girl who placed 1st. She looked fantastic. Her butt tighter than tight and her deltoids perfectly shaped, same as the rest of her body. I did feel a bit dis-couraged I have to admit. Walking on that stage in a bikini with 5"heels on is hard enough BUT trying to pose and keep the hands and lips down from shaking - NOT POSSIBLE! Thank goodness I rubbed some vaseline cream on my teeth, the lack of liquid dried up my mouth so bad ( almost like drinking 1 1/2 of red wine) that my upper lip would have stuck on to my teeth. I had a hard time to smile cause constant shaking of my mouth seem to make it near impossible to have a somewhat normal smile.

After the posing round was done, we had about 1.5 hours to change into the routine costume and to stretch, warm up and relax. By now I must have had about 25 chocolate covered almonds to give me some energy and a bit more fat so I wouldn't look flat. Jeni constantly text me with the words: did you eat, girly? When was it the last time you ate? have more almonds...! Have another 12 almonds...mooooooore almonds....! ( not that I had something bad to say about that...lol).

My moods were better than expected and my energy levels were 100%. I really thought I would be grumpy, tired and a bitch, but it was the actual opposite. I was energetic, happy and bubbly. When it came to performing the rouutine, it sure helped me to have the energy and the strength. I was very happy about my performance. I think it was clean and smooth. No fall overs or losing balance! NOW, this was judging round. The morning show is always the judging part. Everything is set in the morning. Around 1 pm and another 2 chocolate covered almonds later we were back at the hotel to rest a bit. Ate more chicken and almonds and 6pm, back to the theatre and back into the routine costume and performing everything again, same as this morning. The night show is where the most seats are sold and it's basically the entertainment "fun" part of the weekend! After performing it's time for results. I placed 4th in tall class.....we were 7 in total but divided by size. I was a little bit frustrated and sad about my placing, but told myself, that I came this far and dedicated my entire mind and body for this...I AM A WINNER no matter about the results. 

The first things when I got of the stage, I went and ate my peanut butter sandwich with a banana. mmmmmhhhh......that was a mood pick me upper!!!! Debbie ( placed 3rd) and I jumped into our cloths and all of us went for a nice supper....pizza for me! FANTASTIC! Also, couldn't we resist to have drinks already. Deb and I almost finished a bottle of red vino before we even got out of out 2 piece fancy suit ( bikini). After supper the only thing I really wanted and def. needed was a shower and wash all that brown tan stuff of my body. Yikes, that took me almost 15 minutes. And from there, off to bed! Absolutely exhausted, tired and a bit sick from all the food I inhaled.

Sunday, 22nd, 2011- Home sweet home. Back to the airport and off to Calgary. 

I really didn't take a day off. Monday morning I was already back at the gym for cardio and back workout. My next competition ( the more important one) is coming in 10 days. So, NO time for resting. In 2 weeks from now I will be in Germany and thats when relaxing is the BIG ingredient in my day!

I will keep you posted in the next few days for the upcoming excitement for the Edmonton Show!

Thank you all for the good luck wishes! I love you all!!!!!

It was one little moment which made it perfect!

So here I am...3 days away for competition day. It is wednesday morning and I started waterloading and taking my water tight pills since this morning. My diet is going to be "extreme" again until show is over. On my meal plan: chicken, beans, asparagus, oatmeal, sweet potatoes and water...that's it....for breakfast, snacks, lunch an dinners.
My body is leaning already more, can't wait to see the "final" result after the water got all out under my skin. I love the feeling of the body and mind connection these days. I have never felt stronger in my entire 32 years of life. I thought I would be grumpy these past few days, but I actually feel bubbly and energetic. I got up this morning at 4:30 am as usual and were finished my cardio workout before 6am, went into the fitness room, cranked up the stereo and practiced my routine. I haven't been overally happy with the routine part these days....I was a bit unsure if I can pull it off, until Brandy ( my friend) cam e into the room and made me do a run through for her. She's been with me from day one and not ONCE did I show her my choeography of the routine....( shame on me)...so today was the day. She turned my "not sure-feeling" of the routine  into I FEEL PERFECT about it! The way she stood beside the Stereo, crying for pride, made it simply better than perfect. She was so proud....sooooo proud and reminded me on my mom, when she saw me in my wedding dress for the very first time...simply proud and touched. Her and I got so much closer over the past 6 month and I can't imagine having done this without her! I am so proud of her for working out everyday with me and keeping me motivated...SHE IS MY GEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And I thank god everyday for bringing her into my life!!!!!!!!!!!!
We are leaving at 6:30 am to drive to Calgary to the Airport, which is about a 3 hour drive...well, with the waterloading it might take us 4 cause of all the pee breaks I have to take...lol!
We fly around 3pm into Kelwona, BC where my friend Debbie is already awaiting us to drive us to the Hotel. That day the only "big" thing happening will be meeting my trainer Jeni for the first time, applying my tan lotion and I believe Jeni will make me do some posing rounds. Friday, we rest, no more cardio or training. Stretching and routine run through and at 6pm the weigh ins and measurements as well as drug testing for the show. Saturday wake up call for 6am and off to the theatre early enough to get a spot with a mirror to get ready ( make up, hair and the whole Doll me up prep). And than it's show time baby! I have actually 2 shows that day...in the morning that's the one where all the judging is done, the night show is the entertainment show....that's when you have the BIG audience and perform just for the fun and show off your positive energy!
My suitcase is packed and my cooler filled with chicken and the rest of the food I need. Now, all I need is YOU guys crossing your fingers for me and keep me in your thoughts on saturday!
Bring it on Kelowna cause I am READY  for YOU!

Only 7 days left!

So, it's friday night and I am 7 days away from stage. We are actually talking days now not weeks anymore, wow! Next week at this time I will be sitting in my hotel room with Brandy, Deb and my coach Jeni, trying to focus and relax. Wow, I can't believe the time is here for the final lean down and water load. Tomorrow it is time for serious business. No more diet pop, sugar free gum or protein powder. Clean and natural foods only. Water loading starts tomorrow as well. ( meaning drink water, more water and even more water). The diet will get a bit rougher by wednesday, no more sodium whatsoever. No salt, pepper any spices, plain and simple chicken, beans and asparagus, oatmeal and sweet potatoes are my options. I fly out thursday morning from Calgary into Kelowna,BC. I already started packing my suitcase....there are so many things to remember, i decided to start packing tonight so I won't forget the important things. What's in my suitcase? Here a little sample list:

sheets, pillow case, towels ( cause of the tan lotion you don't wanna mess up the once in the hotel room),  asparagus, green beans, elastic workout rubber bands, running shoes, underwear, lashes, make up, all my vitamin packs, gloves to put the lotion on, chocolate covered almonds ( mmmhhh....for pre stage pump up), a bottle of diet coke ( suppose to help if cramping in the muscles), extra costume attachments, cloths, plain almonds, and way more to go.....I still have a list of things to add into it. In my carry on I def. will take my suit, costume and high heels, my routine music cd's and I can't forget my cooler with my 93 oz of chicken breast and my 6oz steak...all pre cooked and has to get heated up in the microwave at the hotel...yikes! The food has to stay close to me, cause thats the most important piece of luggage right along with the suits and the routine music!!!!!

My moods these days are going up and down like a roller coaster. People now notice I am looking exhausted, tired and irritated. My husband Ken just said the other night to me: I see you in 4 weeks....glad to have you back than! WOW, hard words, but true words. I am anything BUT a wife or perfect mom these past 8 weeks. My focus is completely directed to my competition and my physique. I am looking forward to relax after the show for a while and to spend more time with my family. I am glad I have someone around me, who is trying to support me as good as it gets, especially with my bitchiness.  On mothers day, my husband and daughter took me out for a breakfast brunch (buffet style). He wanted me to go to the food section to make Ava ( my child) a plate with food....I just gave him a dirty look and asked him if was kidding? I told him he can't do that, cause the food is screaming out for me to eat it and if he couldn't be more supportive and take her along with him and leave me behind with my "own prepared-brought protein pancakes". His EXACT reply: Seriously Schatz? No f'n person held a gun on your head and told you to do this diet....so take your daughter and get her some flippin' food- dont' let it out on  us!" Wow...call that an eye opener and a honest opinion. I did go, bit my lips, tried not to breathe, so I wouldn't inhale the smell of the food and concentrated on NOT breaking out into tears! Now, since it's 1 week left until show, I am happy I never did touch the food. I tell myself every morning when my alarm goes off at 4:30am and when I do not feel like getting up, Di get your ass out of bed, cause the girl on the stage beside you did! Or when I want peanut butter so bad- I have to remind myself of the girls up on stage, that they haven't put their fingers into the jar and you can tell on their figures! I can't wait to have my peanut butter sandwich after the show....HEAVEN....it will be HEAVEN!

Have a great night and I will keep posting this week everyday about my workouts, diet and general things!